As Mother's Day approaches, it's important to recognize that not all students come from traditional family structures, and for some, this holiday may evoke complex emotions or feelings of exclusion. It can be difficult for teachers to acknowledge the contributions of all the mothers out there while also trying to balance the needs of a diverse classroom with students who have a variety of family makeups. On the other hand, for those who have wonderful mothers, we do want to acknowledge the unique contribution they play in their lives. So how can we do it all? Educators CAN navigate this sensitive topic with empathy and inclusivity while still helping mothers feel appreciated. Let’s explore this on a deeper level.
Start with an Inclusive Base of Diverse Family Structures
Start by acknowledging that families come in all shapes and sizes without calling attention to any particular student. Not all students have a traditional mother-child relationship while some students may have multiple mother figures like a stepmother, a biological mother, an adopted mother, or a grandmother that they live with. Some students may have a mother who has passed away or whom they are estranged from.
For younger kids, you can start your Mother’s Day celebrations by reading different books to the whole class which include books specifically about mothers and also books about different types of families. For kids who are able to read, you can have them pick different books to share with a buddy. Look through your library for the types of family books that you know would best benefit your class. Try the book What Makes a Family by Hannah Bruner. For a complete list of books that I think can be helpful, check out this blog post about books to help celebrate Mother’s Day in an inclusive way. By starting with the base that all families are unique, we can then build out on the relationship many have with their mothers. By recognizing and respecting diverse family structures, educators create a more inclusive classroom environment where all students feel valued and accepted.
Use Inclusive Language for Diverse Family Makeups
Be mindful of the language used when discussing Mother's Day in the classroom. Instead of assuming that every student has a mother, use inclusive terms such as "caregiver," "parent," or "loved one" to encompass the variety of family dynamics present among students. You can also use the expression, “the important women in your lives” when discussing things specifically about mothers. This demonstrates sensitivity and avoids inadvertently excluding students who may not have a traditional mother figure in their lives.
Unfortunately, sometimes people think avoiding a topic is being “sensitive” to the needs of that student. For example, if a student is in foster care and you completely avoid mentioning the word “mom.” However, being inclusive means making the world bigger not smaller. Students can sense when you are tiptoeing around an issue or treating them differently from other students. Instead of avoiding triggers completely, which is not something that student will be able to avoid their entire lives, it can be more helpful to give them coping strategies for those triggering moments. They will hear about mothers, mothers are an important part of many people’s lives. Who in their life can they think of when the topic of mothers is mentioned? What caring woman or caring person in their life is helping them now? Who makes them feel loved? Make sure the language that you are using when discussing Mother’s Day is bringing these images to mind for the student. Talk about Mother’s Day in a way that focuses on the positives in their life so that this holiday can be a source of joy for them and not a feeling of exclusion.
Make Activities, Crafts, or Celebrations More Inclusive
Offer students flexibility in how they choose to celebrate Mother's Day. Instead of focusing solely on activities related to biological mothers, provide a range of options that allow students to honor any maternal figure who holds significance in their lives. Make sure that whatever activity you have chosen to celebrate Mother’s Day with is something that can easily be converted into a recognition of a different person in their life. For example, if younger students require preprinted words write “Happy _______ Day” or “I love my ________ because…” so that the students can fill in the words they want. Then place a few words on the board like mom, mother, aunt, grandma, stepmom, foster mom, and so forth depending on the family dynamics of your classroom. This gives the kids extra writing practice as well as making the activity more inclusive. Students should not have to bring attention to themselves by getting a different version of the activity so I would not recommend having one version that says mom with another that is blank. Having them all be blank by default allows for more inclusivity.
For crafts, make sure that they are not something that could only be given to a mother. For example, if you want kids to paint a little wooden sign for their mom. Instead of having it say “mom” choose a more inclusive word like “love.” Here are little wooden love signs as an example of what I mean. You may also need to allow some students to have more than one. For example, if they have an open adoption situation or if they have a mother and a stepmother whom they are equally close to and do not want to have to choose. So keep that in mind and prepare for potential extra time and supplies being needed. Keep inclusivity in mind from the beginning so that there is no need to create a separate activity just for students who may be emotionally triggered by Mother’s Day.
Foster Inclusive Empathy and Understanding of Diverse Families
Make sure to never call attention to a particular student. However, if a student wants to share their unique circumstances, encourage open dialogue and discussions about diverse family makeups and the different ways students may experience Mother's Day. Create a safe and supportive space where students feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Foster empathy and understanding among students by promoting respect for each other's family backgrounds and cultural traditions.
Shift the focus of Mother's Day celebrations from traditional family structures to the universal themes of love, kindness, and gratitude. Emphasize the importance of all the supportive adults in the child's life, whether it's their mother, aunt, grandma, foster parents, caseworkers, stepparents, teachers, or mentors. Highlight the positive relationships they have and the love and care they receive from these individuals. Encourage students to reflect on the people in their lives who have shown them love and support, regardless of their familial relationships. This broader approach allows all students to participate in the spirit of appreciation and acknowledgment.
By approaching Mother's Day with empathy, understanding, and sensitivity, you can support children in a variety of diverse family situations. Celebrating Mother's Day in a diverse classroom requires sensitivity, empathy, and inclusivity. By acknowledging and respecting the diverse family makeups of students, using inclusive language, providing options for celebration, fostering empathy and understanding, and focusing on universal themes of love and gratitude, educators can create a more inclusive and supportive classroom environment where all students feel valued and accepted, regardless of their family backgrounds. Let's approach Mother's Day celebrations with empathy and inclusivity, honoring the diversity of families and the myriad ways in which love and caregiving are expressed.
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